Life Update: Baby Is Here But Nothing Is According To Plan

In this episode, I get transparent and vulnerable about the birth of our baby boy Nolan James. 

It’s been the biggest blessing, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. But it came with some heartache, sleepless nights in a hotel, and a whole load of uncertainty. 

As a Type A personality type, this has been an adjustment to say the least. 

Insights as a new mom + Type A personality type through the lens of time management and productivity

Take the help and let people do what feels good for them. 

This was hard, not because I'm unwilling to take help. I'm certainly willing and able to ask for help, but I think I just was so overwhelmed in the moment of just trying to survive and see my baby and feeling stressed out. So, it felt a bit more burdensome than it should to have people who were willing to help. And so once I kind of relinquished that and just realized that I didn't need to entertain my family and friends who were with us, that I could just let them be here because it made them feel good, it made us feel good. They could then help out in a way that felt good for them, whether that was sending us a door dash gift card or running an errand for us, or helping us coordinate somebody to take care of our dog, etc. There were so many people who stepped up to help us in ways that I didn't even think that we needed that help.

I am relinquishing my to-do list, 

This is incredibly hard because I live and breathe that. Every single day I have a to-do list. I don't think there's ever been a day where I haven't had a to-do list. And so right now my to-do list is what shows I want to watch that day, basically.

And I'm really giving up that expectation I have for myself to accomplish things and I still do. When I do get the laundry done, or when I do clean out my emails, it feels all that much more exciting, but I'm not looking to cross anything off of a to do list right now.

Sleep when the baby sleeps is actually really hard advice

Especially if you are someone who is used to go, go, go. If you're not used to sitting still for that long, it's hard to just see the time that the baby's sleeping as time when you need to be resting versus time when you could be doing something.

Breastfeeding is also really hard. 

I was going to wing it and thank God one of my girlfriends recommended a lactation class and nursing class for me. But it's still really, really hard and I'm waffling with the decision every single day about what's going to be right for me, for the baby, for our family, and I'm giving myself grace and space to make that decision because it's hard for a lot of reasons.

Let go of expectations 

You see all of these videos or these Pinterest posts out the schedules of a newborn. When Nolan was in the NICU, he was on a pretty regimented schedule, and so we got really used to this - every 3 hours, he ate, we changed the diaper, and we ate. We did all of these things and he fell back asleep and then we would go do something for an hour and a half. And the cycle just repeated and it was very regimented. And the older the baby gets, the more that just goes out the window. There's cluster feeding, there are inconsistent naps, there are all kinds of things that come up that make it really impossible to some extent to plan it or to get into that routine and structure. And that again is something that I'm struggling with. And I don't know if I knew it cognitively, but to have it be played out in action is pretty hard to adjust to because I love my routine and structure and want to be able to predict a little bit of how my day is going to go.

Leaning into those small moments to the small wins 

You have to romanticize this new chaotic, messy and stressful life and take lots and lots of pictures. Send them to everyone you can think of unsolicited because everybody's going to enjoy the pictures of your baby. Celebrate the wins and check in with people and just stay connected to the network and community that you have, because it's so, so important to have that safe space to vent or to talk things out or to share what's hard and to have that be done without judgment. But either way, those small, really beautiful moments of your baby changing and learning and growing, of you changing and learning and growing are going to be really, really special.

Try not to worry about what's not getting done and just enjoying this once in a lifetime experience as you can as much as you can.