I remember being a little girl making plans for my future. At the time, I wanted to be a vet and own a horse farm (please see photo below), but no matter what my dream career was, I always had a pretty high-power career. I also almost always owned a business (see horse farm), I had a family with kids, and I saw myself fit, rich, and well dressed. I pictured myself being the kind of mom who shows up to everything, the president of the PTA, obviously, while balancing my career and my business and looking flawless with a sparkling clean house.

And a tiny part of me still holds on to that version of myself I think I should be—the woman who can do it all.

Our society has such high expectations for women. We're supposed to be all things to everyone, and we're fed media that reinforces the hustle culture and how we should do it all with style and grace.

For the record, I think the messages are getting better. At least in the communities I'm a part of, you are not heroic if you pull an all-nighter to work on your business, and self-care is a must. But ironically, hustling is how most of the business owners I look up to got started. They use it as a cautionary tale, but it's still what they did, and they are now successful.

So it's still reinforced: Hustle = Success.

Where does that leave us now?

It took me a while to recognize that that woman was a character. An unrealistic fantasy that was created for drama and to exaggerate a point.

Real-life is messy and unpredictable. As much as we want to put things in neat little block schedules (for the record - I stand by the block schedule approach) and live in a distraction-free world where you wake up to your dog throwing up or rushing a deadline on a day where you've scheduled that activity - that's just not reality.

To the women who can do it all, more power to you, sister! I envy you. But you must be tired because the rest of us are.

The rest of us care deeply about each part of our lives: family, business, career, health, hobbies, etc. We're looking for an integrated life with strong boundaries to protect our mental health but lose boundaries around where and when work happens. We're looking for help: the cleaning person you love more than care to admit (shout out to Liliana!), someone to help with the kids or your pet, someone else to support you in your business. We're looking to release the expectation that we need to be all things to all people, and you're going to go the extra mile every time.

I struggle with that last one especially. Side story time: I'm in Junior League, and I was having a conversation with my husband about how stressed because the League asked me to take a leadership role. He responded, "You know, you can just be in Junior League. You don't have to be in charge." 🤯 That thought had never crossed my mind. I've just always taken the leadership role because that's what I thought I should do.

We have to support each other in letting things go, in saying no to volunteering for one more thing that feels like an obligation rather than an opportunity. And let go of the guilt of expectations.

I want to be someone who fills her day with the big rocks first. Who recognizes that it's ok to decide that a part of your life will only get your 90% effort - not 110%- because that's the season you're in right now. I want to be someone who continues to support women, especially other business owners, in releasing expectations and guilt. Or removing the shame from realizing you're never going to be the fictional woman who does it all.

Who do you want to be? What expectations are you ready to let go of?

You are a freakin rock star,🤩 and I'm proud of exactly who you are at this exact moment.